The Micro Clues That Could Win the Deal

Have you ever wished you could get a memo on how the person negotiating with you across the table is really thinking? You can, says microexpressions expert Annie Sarnblad, if you learn to read the minute and universal facial cues that everyone makes. Sarnblad joins the podcast to explain why microexpressions matter and how to make them work for you in negotiations.

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Click here to watch a video of Annie demonstrating microexpressions.

Middle Market Growth: Welcome to Middle Market Growth Conversations, a podcast for dealmakers discussing the trends shaping the middle market. I’m your host, Carolyn Vallejo, and this is a production of the Association for Corporate Growth. On this podcast, we often talk about big trends and wide outlooks, but today we’re talking about something very small but very meaningful to dealmakers. Microexpressions can make or break a deal, says our guest, Annie Sarnblad, a microexpressions expert and strategic advisor to family offices and middle-market leaders. Annie, welcome to the podcast.

Annie Sarnblad: Thank you, Carolyn, for having me. I’m really excited to do this.

MMG: I am so excited to talk about this topic, but first of course, we want to get to know you better. So tell me for our audience a little bit about your area of expertise and about some of the work that you do.

AS: So I am an expert in microexpressions, and that means that I teach the facial expressions that precede the thought process that are a universal to our species. They’re the same regardless of culture, gender, upbringing, socialization, geographic location. Regardless of—even humans that are born blind make the same facial expressions, the same macro and the same microexpressions. And so I am certified in something called facial action coding system, which means it takes that 10,000 muscle combinations in human expressions, and you are able to, if you pass the certification and numerically code them. I thought that was a very complicated system for something that all humans use innately, especially as babies. And so I took the field of science and I simplified it so that we can easily teach it and talk about it.

MMG: This is so fascinating. What an exciting topic. But first, just for a little bit of fun, if you could learn any new skill in 2026, what would it be?

AS: So for 2026, I would like to learn to not muster, not push myself all the way through. I just had back surgery and I was, before the surgery, I was flat out on my back for five weeks, couldn’t work, couldn’t walk properly. And so I think I need to learn to listen to my body, to get healthier food and more exercise in a regular manner. And I think that’s something that, you know, all of our listeners relate to too, this finding this balance between work and family and travel, which is just really, really hard on our bodies.

MMG: It’s so hard on our bodies.

AS: So to, you know, get this balance of taking care of health first rather than last.

MMG: Excellent. I think that would probably be a great tip for me and a lot of our listeners too. Well, let’s get into our main topic today, microexpressions. This is fascinating. But first tell me, what is a microexpression? Why are they important?

AS: So a microexpression is the facial expression that leaks that we do involuntarily, and it precedes the thought process. In other words, it’s an exact screenshot of what we’re feeling in that exact moment. So if we’re, if we’re in a negotiation and we’re saying with our words like, yeah, that sounds great, but we’re showing the microexpression of disgust, which is the “no” face, then our words aren’t aligned with our true intentions or our true feelings. And that is just giving those dealmakers an extra layer of due diligence that they otherwise might miss.

Watch Annie demonstrate these microexpressions:

MMG: That’s a really interesting point that you bring up because we want to talk about the role that microexpressions play in negotiating, which of course is a huge part of middle-market dealmaking. First of all, for our listeners, you can see a video of Annie demonstrating these microexpressions middlemarketgrowth.org on our podcast page. So, talk a little bit about how reading microexpressions might be able to help in a negotiation.

AS: Okay. So the first thing I teach when I work with people who are negotiating high stakes deals is I teach them the “yes” face and the “no” face, what those two faces look like. So the “yes” face is actually when we are experiencing joy or happiness, our cheeks pop up. So it has really nothing to do with the smile or the mouth or how widely we’re grinning with our lips. It has everything to do with whether or not the cheeks lose gravity. And if the cheeks lose gravity, they pop up. And this skin, this usually fairly flat skin, depending on our age that’s right under our eyes, where we get those dark circles under eyes, that skin there bulges out and pops out because it, it has nowhere to go when our cheeks pop up. And so those are what we call smile bags. When we see the smile bags, somebody’s happy, that’s an indication that things are going well. The other thing, the other piece of the “yes” face is watching for pupil dilation. So watching the pupils become big, we gauge how big the pupils are at the beginning of the meeting because our pupils are different sizes according to the light and the individual and the time of day or whether or not we’re on medication. We gauge the size of the pupils at the beginning of the meeting. And if there’s a moment where those pupils become twice the size or a third bigger, then that’s the moment that that person is experiencing greed or want or desire. And it’s actually the same in dating as it is in negotiation. It’s the sign of like, gimme, gimme, gimme. I want that now.

MMG: Well, dealmaking is a matchmaking process.

AS: It is. It really, really is. And so it’s that same emotion of arousal or want or desire. And when we see that, we know that whatever just happened triggered that response. So that’s the “yes.” So then that would cause me to either stay on that topic or figure or, or say like, huh, you know, I didn’t know that this person was really interested in that. When I’ve worked with peace mediators, they often have said that the negotiation process brought up something that was a huge surprise to them. In other words, it may be something that was very personal to the leader that was being negotiated on behalf of, or even the person that was negotiating themselves, that if you could get that one piece of the deal, the deal would go through. And the opposite is true too. The “no” face, you see this facial expression of disgust or discomfort. And that, it was taught to me as disgust. But I use it when I’m doing negotiations. I teach it as the “no” face, and it’s the facial expression that little kids make when they smell something bad or they don’t want to do something and they wrinkle up their noses. And there’s three main pieces. I’m doing it, you know, for those of you who want to watch on the video—wrinkles next to our nose, we just scrunch up those muscles next to our nose. We deepen our nasal labial furrow, which is what a lot of women get, you know, all these injections to kind of get rid of, which I call the nostril shadows. Just because it makes this dark shadow in the line that goes down sort of diagonally from the above the nostrils to the outer corners of the lips. And that upper lip pulls up. So y’all had that seventh grade girl that was like, are you going to wear that? Or, you know, like, oh, your hair looks awful, but that’s that, that, no, I don’t like this face. And the microexpression is the piece of that expression. We’re socialized out of these big expressions when we’re little by our parents because it’s rude to look at somebody and go, “ew,” but you know, Jimmy Fallon does this “ew” and I sometimes have my students practice on his skits because he goes, “ew.” But it does so well. But the little, it’s the bad bunny rabbit twitch right next to the nostril. And it’s just that little jump and you have to put your gaze down on the bottom part of the face to not miss it because we’re used to looking each other in the eyes. But if you dip your gaze a little bit when you’re saying something high stakes and you see that little twitch, well, that person didn’t like what you just proposed, whether it’s scope or price or partner, you know who you’re going to partner with. And if you can catch that no, then you also know which part of the deal that they don’t like, they don’t want. And that gives you a chance to pivot in that moment and say, okay, is there something, you know, you would, something I’m missing. Would you rather work with another team or is there more information that I need to have? You can dig a little bit. It doesn’t show you exactly what the person’s thinking, but it shows you what they’re feeling and what they’re feeling is, no, I don’t like that.

MMG: Okay. So we can kind of guide your tactics moving forward. Interesting. What if somebody is giving mixed signals? How would you kind of interpret that and how would you proceed?

AS: Yeah, so we get mixed signals all the time. And there’s a facial expression that I like to call the “maybe” face. And it’s sort of that Al Pacino, Robert de Niro, they take the corners of both sides of the lips and they pull them down and they hold it. So, it’s not really a microexpression, it’s more of a macro, but it’s still interesting because people often don’t know they’re doing it. So if you just see somebody going, and when I start explaining, I just went to a JP Morgan conference last week and I was explaining to one of the participants and he just went, you know, he did that double pull down of lip guard and I was like, you’re not really sure, that’s the “maybe” face. You don’t really believe me, or it’s not that you don’t believe me, but you’re not convinced; you need more information. And he was like, oh, that’s exactly what I’m feeling. So I started, you know, coding him live: “And now you’re feeling a little discomfort because you pulled up your nasal labial furrow and now you’re scared because you swallowed and you stretched the tendons of your neck.” And he’s like, oh my God. It’s like, you can read me. And I was like, that’s the whole point.

MMG: Well for all of the middle market dealmakers, the negotiators listening, also anyone on the dating scene, also anyone playing poker, apparently—these are really kind of important cues clearly to watch out for. You just mentioned a story of a gentleman that wasn’t aware that he’s doing these things. So it must be just as important to be able to be self-aware of the microexpressions that maybe you’re giving off at the negotiating table. Is it possible to kind of pay attention more closely to the microexpressions you’re giving yourself?

AS: Yeah. So I get this question all the time. Poker players and spies, or anybody who works undercover, those individuals tend to be really, really good at mentally putting themselves in a different scenario. And that’s basically what actors do, right? If they’re really good at it, they live into that situation and they pretend that that’s real so much that they actually get the corresponding microexpressions. Now, unfortunately, not all actors can do that, so it kind of ruins some movies and TV shows for me because the microexpressions don’t fit. But that’s really what it is. You have to sort of game the system. Your body will always leak what’s true unless you can convince your body that’s that there’s an alternative truth. And the way I do that, when I start noticing, because I really do feel each microexpression on my face, when I feel myself making the “no” face or making disgust, it’s something I don’t like, I just repeat loving kindness, loving kindness, loving kindness. I need something really short and sweet. So loving kindness, that mantra gives me, it just sort of triggers that slight rise in my cheeks and a softening of my facial expressions. But there are little tricks that you can do, but you have to do them repeatedly because your micrexpressions will leak. They’ll come first. And I can’t stop myself from making them, but I can stop myself from making them continuously, if that makes sense, in the same conversation. I can sort of catch myself once I’ve done it.

MMG: No, that makes complete sense. And you know, of course it takes practice to be able to read and kind of catch those microexpressions. It takes practice to be able to quote unquote control your own microexpressions that you’re giving off at the same time. We talk a lot here at ACG about how middle market dealmaking, it’s about humans connecting. Especially in the age of AI that has come upon us, humans are so important to the dealmaking process, and dealmakers I’m sure don’t want to be stuck in their heads as they’re talking with someone else trying to look for these cues and pay attention to their own cues. They still want it to be authentic human connection. They want that flow. So how can you kind of balance, how can you get really good at catching these cues, but also stay present in the negotiation?

AS: Well, staying present in the negotiation and thinking about yourself and how you’re presenting, it’s hard. It’s kind of like when you learn to present for the first time, when you get that presentation training on stage, I mean, I was watching some people last week that were just phenomenal at presenting and speaking. It takes a while because you know, one of the first things you’re taught to do is square your shoulders and open your frame and open your hands wide so that you’re not, you know, looking nervous and closing everything and kind of portraying to the audience that you’re anxious, which makes them anxious too. So, it’s a balance between reminding yourself a couple of times to pay attention and not getting obsessed with that new skill so that you’re only doing, because otherwise you’re only training. So, when I work with my students and clients, I get them to watch the video and to practice and to do it, to remind themselves to do it a couple of times in a negotiation, but not to get lost in it. And then it’s really fun if you do have a team, if there are at least two of you, and if you are trained to gather, one of you can be focused on the pitch and the connection and the other one can be watching the microexpressions and you can trade off. So that’s really fun because then you’re more likely to catch, did you notice when we talked about, you know, when we said the price that we were looking for, they showed disgust or they showed pleasure, do you think we’re asking for enough? Are we asking for too much? And that’s really fun, but like any new skill, you want to balance it. You want to kind of do your homework at home and then practice in a reasonable amount when you’re there so you don’t lose that human connection. Because if you’re in that flow, I kind of would stay in the flow. Like if you’re really feeling like you’re connecting and you’re getting things done, don’t get too technical in that moment. Like establish that relationship because we do know that people really want to do deals with people that they like.

MMG: Yeah, that’s a great point.

AS: You know, that you want to hang out with and that you trust. And if that’s going well, don’t mess it up with your new skill right in that moment.

MMG: Right. Don’t get in your own way. So you mentioned at the beginning of our conversation that these microexpressions are human nature. We do them subconsciously, even people who are visually impaired or blind. Does that mean we could also catch and interpret others’ microexpressions innately? Or is this really a practiced skill?

AS: We do. And research has actually shown that we read the microexpressions and it lights up pieces of our brain that respond to like fear, distrust, anger, contempt, even if we’re not consciously recognizing that. So if we meet a predator, it will still light up pieces of our brain that react to fear. Even if we’re thinking like walking away going, oh, that was a nice guy. We have gotten really disconnected or many people have gotten really disconnected from their guts. We do know that children who have been abused early on, they tend to be good at reading moods their entire lives. They tend not to unlearn these survival tactics. And it’s one of the reasons that people who have some trauma and some abuse in their childhoods tend to be really good at sales because they catch the mood. Whether or not they’re identifying the microexpressions with the vocabulary, I tend to find that they’re really quick learners. Give me someone who’s good at sales. They’re like, I know this already. They’re like, wow. It’s neat to have the words on the stuff that I kind of know.

MMG: Yeah. It’s very validating. So I mentioned we’re in the age of AI—we’re also in the age of injectables and Botox. And you mentioned how women often get injectables around, you know, the nostril shadows as you say. And then Botox of course is freezing our faces. So in this age of injectables and cosmetic procedures that affect facial expressions, how does that change negotiations and being able to read and interpret these microexpressions?

AS: So, the injectables make our muscles numb. They also make our emotions numb. So what’s really interesting is that we have to actually move our faces to interpret emotion, both our own emotions and the emotions of others. So that process of the squeezing and the pushing and the pulling of the muscles sends a message to our amygdala, which is the emotional center of our brain that interprets that emotion, how that must feel. So when we have full facial paralysis, for example, and they can’t move their face, they have a really hard time interpreting emotion, processing emotion at all. And the same is true with Parkinson’s, advanced stages of Parkinson’s. As the facial muscles start to freeze, that individual who may have been very emotionally intelligent in their younger years now has a much, much harder time interpreting their own feelings and interpreting the feelings of the people around them. So what it does is it’s the ultimate disconnector. Now that can be really useful because these are our concentrating muscles right now. And for those of you who are just listening, I’m furrowing my brow. So I’m showing my, what the plastic surgery surgeons call the elevens. And this is my glabella, the space right between my eyebrows and these are concentrating muscles. Right? And I have deep wrinkles right here because I do a lot of deep thinking, and this is a necessary part to problem solving. And it is also a piece of our face that moves when we’re ruminating. So that’s one of the reasons that people who have migraines or depression, they get the injections on their glabella right on those elevens. And that actually calms them down, stops them from ruminating as much, stops them from focusing on problems and helps them with both depression and with migraines. So it can be really, really useful, but we know it also disconnects people. When we can’t see what someone is feeling, we are much less likely to trust that person. So if you’re looking for connection either with a loved one or with a potential business partner, and you have too much of your face that is frozen, that doesn’t move, you’re going to have a much harder time connecting.

MMG: Interesting. Yeah. Okay. Well, let’s kind of bring it full circle to the middle market dealmaking community, because so many of the topics that you’re talking about today are, you know, naturally applicable to the dealmaking table. So for the negotiators that are listening who are interested in kind of putting into practice some of the concepts that you’ve just taught us, what are some of the first steps that they can take?

AS: So take a facial expression like disgust, you can go onto my Instagram, for example, and find that, or you can just look at the YouTube videos. I’m sort of all over the place. You can find, if you do a search on me, take one facial expression and practice that when you’re brushing your teeth every morning. So brush your teeth and you know, we’ve all read that book, Atomic Habits, you know, which talks about habit stacking, that you attach it to something that you’re already doing. So make that facial expression yourself. We learn through mirroring with facial expressions, so you make the facial expression, make the macro, the big expression. You make the little expression. And then for those, you know, three weeks or so, you go about your day and you can test it on your kids. Like if you know your kid doesn’t like broccoli, you can say, should we have broccoli for dinner? And your kid will go, ew, no, and make that facial expression instantly. But you go about your day and you notice and pay attention to what people don’t like. You dip your gaze when you say a specific phrase or meaning, and you practice that expression, but do one at a time. Because I know from experience of teaching this for over 20 years that if you do, if I try to teach somebody four or five expressions at the same time, they get all over the place. So just pick one and learn that. And then when you’ve got that, build your repertoire to go on to the next one. But it really takes two or three minutes a day to become proficient in microexpressions if you’re disciplined.

MMG: Well, that sounds really achievable. Annie Sarland, microexpressions expert, thank you so much for joining the podcast. That was fascinating.

AS: Thank you for having me. I really enjoyed it.

This transcript was prepared by a transcription service. This version may not be in its final form and may be updated.

The Middle Market Growth Conversations podcast is produced by the Association for Corporate Growth. To hear more interviews with middle-market influencers, subscribe to the Middle Market Growth Conversations podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Soundcloud.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]